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I’ve never liked turkey that much, instead I prefer a nice duck, rib of beef, rack of lamb or even a chicken for Christmas Dinner.

This year though I thought we would have a change and have a traditional turkey with all the trimmings.

Having never bought a turkey before I thought I could just nip to the local butcher and pick a 4 or 5 pound bird of the shelf for under £10.00

That was my first mistake!

I walked in to the butchers, asked about a turkey and got greeted with “what’s my order number?” Order number I thought, was I supposed to have ordered one?

“We might have a few out the back” was the reply when I said I hadn’t ordered, and was then asked “how big?”

Thinking it would do for boxing day too, I said “about 4 or 5 pound please” I could tell by the smile on his face this was the wrong answer.

“What’s the smallest you have left?” I then asked, and he dissapeared out the back, and soon reappeared with a big box, initially  I thought he was bringing me 3 or 4 to choose from, but then he plonked the box on the counter and opened it up for me to see.

Was there 3 or 4 nice little turkeys for me to choose from? was there f*** there on the counter was a 14lb bird in it’s full glory.

“How many is it for?” he then asked, “2 adults and 2 young children” I replied, “is that going to be a bit big?” I said after looking at it for about a minute.

“I’ll go see if I can find a smaller one” and back out the back he went.

He returned with, what he said was smallest bird they had, still a whopping 9 and 1/2 pound, but I thought, ah well, we can have it boxing day and then use the rest up in sandwhiches or a curry over the following days.

“Ok, I ‘ll take it” so off he went again and bagged it up for me.

Getting £20 out my wallet I was ready to pay for it, when he said, “That’ll be £33.54 please”

£33.54 for a turkey that I don’t particularly want, enough to feed about 12 people, when there’s only really 3 of us (kids will only eat half portion, if that), so I smiled, got another £20 out the wallet, paid the man and wished them all a merry christmas.


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